I caught myself doing it again this week. Feeling overwhelmed, behind on everything, generally crappy. Then it hit me – I hadn’t done my morning routine in over a week. The same 15-minute routine that I KNOW makes my entire day feel better.
Sound familiar? Maybe you’ve had moments where you think “I should probably take better care of myself” but then life gets busy and… yeah, that doesn’t happen.
This is the self-care paradox that’s impacts every physician I know.
The Self-Care Paradox Every Physician Faces
Here’s what’s wild about this. I have concrete evidence in my own life that doing simple self-care activities completely transforms my days. More energy, clearer thinking, feeling more in control.
And yet, the first thing my brain tosses out when life gets busy? Those same self-care activities.
But here’s the thing – after struggling for a bit, I always end up like “Wait, I’m not doing any of that stuff. That’s why I feel like shit again.”
You might be able to list things that sound like they’d make you feel better. A quick walk between patients. Actually eating lunch instead of inhaling a protein bar. Five minutes of quiet before walking into your house.
But somehow, those things feel impossible to fit in.
Why Medicine Makes Self-Care Harder
The problem isn’t that we don’t know what to do or don’t have enough time. It’s more complex than that.
We’re wired to respond to urgency. It’s literally our job. Patient calls, lab results, that consult that needs to happen now – these grab our attention because they’re urgent AND important.
But self-care? Important without being urgent. Your brain says “I could do it later” or “I’ll do it tomorrow.” There’s no immediate consequence to skipping your morning routine like there is to missing a critical lab.
This is the urgency trap. When stress goes up (and we need more support), we actually pull away from supporting ourselves. We say “I don’t have time” or “I’ll do that later.”
But here’s what’s nuts – stress goes up, self-care should increase. Like adjusting meds. Blood pressure spikes, we increase the dose. Stress spikes, we should increase the self-care.
Small Changes Create Big Results
If you’re thinking self-care needs to take hours, that’s part of the problem. You don’t have to quit medicine to find space for yourself.
I learned this when my twins were little and I was completely maxed out. I started getting up 15 minutes earlier to do a morning routine. Setting that alarm was hard because I wasn’t sleeping through the night – staying in bed would have been easier. But something needed to change.
Soon I started to enjoy those morning because those were the only moments with nobody talking to me or needing me. And I started to feel better.
That tiny change made such a huge difference. And I’m talking about a difference I could feel immediately – not some abstract “wellness” BS.
Small changes done consistently have ripple effects everywhere.
A 5 minute break at lunch to go for a short walk sounds minor but it can completely change your afternoon. Try it and see.
Think Outcomes, Not Tasks
Here’s another piece that trips us up. We think of self-care as tasks instead of outcomes. They get added to our huge to do list and never have a chance of making it to the top.
Take brushing your teeth. You don’t do it because you love the sensation. You do it because you want fresh breath when talking to patients. You think about the outcome, not the task.
But with self-care, I catch myself thinking “I need to journal, I need to meditate, I need to plan my day.” All task-focused. When I think that way, they feel overwhelming and not particularly appealing – so they didn’t happen.
Instead, if I think about how my days feel when I do my morning routine – it becomes easier to prioritize.
I think about how it helps me feel more spacious with my time and gives me more energy. How I feel calmer and more focused.
Maybe you haven’t experienced this yet, but trust me – it’s real.
A Simple Morning Routine That Actually Works
Since you might be wondering what the hell to actually do, here’s what works for me. I don’t do all of this every time – just doing one of these things will make a difference. Be flexible day to day and do what you need that day.
Journaling – Not long paragraphs. Sometimes just three lines: This is what I’m feeling today. This is what my day looks like. This is what I want to focus on. Writing it down makes it stick better.
Quiet time – Could be meditation, tapping (EFT), or just sitting in silence. If you’re new, download a guided meditation app. Having someone guide you is helpful.
Look at my schedule – I visually block out my day. If I just think about time in numbers, my brain gets weird. But if I see it, I can figure out what actually fits.
Top three priorities – Including daily routine tasks like getting notes done. Don’t just put other people on your list. If it’s important I get a run in, I put that on too.
This whole routine takes about 15 minutes or less.
Make It Work in Your Real Life
Make self-care easy. Make it simple. Make it fit your actual life.
If you hate journaling, don’t journal. Find something you actually like that makes you feel better when you finish. Dancing to a good song. Taking a walk. Sitting in silence for five minutes.
And do it first thing in the morning if possible. Because of this urgency thing, if you leave self-care for later, something more urgent will take over that space.
Before you start dealing with urgent crap, you’ve already gotten what you need.
The Bottom Line
You’re not supposed to function with no support.
Self-care isn’t selfish or weird. It’s doing things that help care for your own needs. And small, consistent actions create the space and energy you’re craving.
I know this works because I’ve lived it. You might not have that evidence yet, but you can start building it.
Ready to stop doing this alone? Join other woman physicians who are finally making self-care non-negotiable (and finding peace with food) inside Thrive Academy.
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