I remember sitting in my car after another long shift, unwrapping the Wendy’s I’d just gone through the drive-thru for.
Again.
I’d told myself that morning I wasn’t going to do it. I’d packed a lunch. I knew exactly what I was doing to my body.
And yet there I was. Eating french fries in my car. Feeling like a complete failure.
The thought that kept running through my head: I’m a doctor. I should know better.
If you’ve ever had that exact thought while eating food you didn’t plan to eat, I want you to know something really important.
You’re not stupid. Food is just different.
It’s Not a Knowledge Gap
Here’s what I hear all the time from physicians: “I know what healthy food looks like. I understand the health impacts. So why can’t I stop eating the stuff that’s not helping me?”
It’s not that you missed the magical class in med school.
If it was really a knowledge gap – if you genuinely didn’t know what healthy food looked like – you probably wouldn’t be struggling as much. You definitely wouldn’t be beating yourself up about it.
The issue is we’re putting our energy in the wrong place.
We’ve been taught to focus on the food itself.
And eating like this – where you are trying hard not to eat, but cave in anyways – isn’t really about the food. The food is a symptom, not the actual problem.
Why Food Feels So Different from Everything Else
Think about how you learned to do procedures in medical school.
You read about it. Watched someone do it. Had supervision while you tried it. Practiced as often as you could.
Simple process. Works every time for learning new medical knowledge.
So you tried to apply that same process to your eating, right?
Read about healthy food. Understand nutrition. Learn what you should eat. Try to make yourself do it.
Except it doesn’t work.
Because you’re addressing the wrong issue.
Think of it like a magic show. You know those big tricks where an elephant disappears from the stage? The way they do it is through misdirection.
The magician has an assistant dancing around, waving colorful scarves, creating movement and distraction on one side of the stage. You’re so focused on what the assistant is doing – the bright colors, the dramatic gestures – that you don’t notice the subtle mechanisms on the other side quietly moving the elephant off the stage behind a screen.
The trick isn’t happening where you’re looking. It’s happening where the magician doesn’t want you to look.
We do the exact same thing with our eating.
We focus intensely on the food itself – what we’re eating, what we should stop eating, counting calories, planning meals, trying to use willpower. That’s the magician’s assistant. That’s the misdirection.
The real issue – what’s actually driving our eating – is happening somewhere else entirely. The overwhelm. The stress with no outlet. The days with zero time for our own needs. The deeply embedded patterns running on autopilot.
That’s where the trick is actually happening. But we keep watching the assistant.
And that’s why nothing works. We’re putting all our energy into the wrong spot.
So let’s talk about where the real issues are – the actual reasons food feels impossible even though you’re brilliant and capable in every other area of medicine.
Reason #1: We Have Very Little Time to Think About Our Own Needs
Our needs are always at the bottom of the priority list.
I did this just this morning. Last night I was thinking about everything I needed to get done today. My first thought? “I might not have time to go for a run. I might not have time to pack my lunch.”
My needs were the first thing I was willing to sacrifice.
And that took conscious effort to shift. I had to actively decide to pack my lunch and book an exercise class before I started focusing on work stuff.
But that’s not our default, right?
We usually hit the ground running. What we need, what will fuel us, what will taste good to us – all of that gets pushed to the bottom.
Reason #2: We’re Taught to Focus on the Wrong Issue
We’re taught to think: “How do I stop eating this food? How do I eat more of that food?”
That is entirely the wrong place to put your energy.
When you know what healthy eating looks like and you still can’t follow through, it’s not a food issue.
There’s something else going on.
Your brain is using food to try to fix non-food issues. And until we figure out what those issues are and find other ways to address them, you’re going to stay stuck.
Reason #3: We Aren’t Taught to Care for Ourselves
Medical school taught us a lot of things.
It did not teach us how to care for ourselves as human beings in the context of our busy schedules. In the context of being up all night and still having to work the next day.
Nobody teaches us that.
Even now with more talk about physician wellness, a lot of it feels like suggestions that don’t fit into a real physician day.
We have to figure out ways to care for ourselves that actually work when we’re slammed. That includes how we eat, how we prepare food, how we deal with stress.
Reason #4: Food Patterns Are Deeply Embedded
A lot of these eating patterns didn’t start last Thursday after a long shift.
They started way back. Maybe when you were a kid. Maybe during residency.
For me, the Wendy’s french fry thing started a little bit in third year medical school when there happened to be a Wendy’s near the hospital. But it really solidified in residency.
These patterns are functioning at a subconscious level. They’re not where you’re consciously thinking “yeah, that food would be good to have.”
It’s that your brain experiences something and activates a neural pathway because in the past it felt like it helped.
Trying to consciously think your way out of those patterns doesn’t always work. Not when your prefrontal cortex is already firing at all levels just to get through your basic day.
That’s why I’ve started working more with tools that function at the subconscious level. Things like hypnosis. (I know, I know – I thought it was weird too at first. But this stuff really works.)
Reason #5: We Shame Ourselves (And That Blocks Change)
“I’m a doctor. I should know better.”
That thought sounds like just a factual statement.
But it’s actually one of the most shaming, damaging thoughts we can have about our eating.
When you’re feeling ashamed and like what you ate is inherently wrong, you don’t have space to ask the more powerful questions: “Why might I have done that? What was going on today? What did I really need in that moment?”
Guilt and shame create a brick wall. You just keep bouncing off it.
The way to take down that brick wall is to shift into compassionate curiosity instead.
Your eating makes sense. It really, really does. I promise you that.
Reason #6: We Isolate Ourselves
Because of that “I should know better” thought, it doesn’t feel safe to talk about what’s really going on.
I never fully shared with my husband the extent of how much I was struggling. I definitely never talked openly with friends about it.
The problem is we end up with all these physicians in their own little isolated silos. Just trying to figure their eating and weight out alone. Blaming themselves. Thinking they’re the only one.
When the reality is there are SO many doctors struggling with their eating. Ones you’d never guess. They may look like they have it all together. They may have a normal BMI. And yet they feel really out of control.
You just can’t tell because they (like you) think it’s not safe to talk about and are trying to fix it themselves.
What Actually Helps
Here’s what doesn’t help:
- Telling yourself to just stop eating that food.
- Trying harder.
- Using more willpower.
- Beating yourself up.
Here’s what does help:
Stop thinking it’s a food issue.
When you know what healthy eating looks like and you still can’t follow through, the problem isn’t the food. Start getting curious about what’s making you reach for food. What was going on right before? What were you feeling? What did you need at that moment?
Let go of the shame.
That “I’m a doctor, I should know better” thought is creating a brick wall. Every time you think it, you’re blocking your ability to actually understand and change your eating.
Replace it with: “My eating makes sense for good reasons. What might those reasons be?”
Your eating isn’t random. It’s not because you’re stupid. There are real reasons your brain is using food the way it is. We just need to figure out what those reasons are.
Find people you can talk openly with.
Healing happens when we come together and talk about our eating struggles without shame. When we realize we’re not the only physician who feels out of control around food.
If you don’t have people in your life you can talk to about this, that’s exactly why I created Thrive Academy for Physicians. It’s a space where you can talk openly with other women physicians who get it.
Work on the real issues.
Not just what you’re eating, but:
- The chronic overwhelm that has food as your only outlet
- The stress that has nowhere else to go
- The habit of putting your own needs last
- The deeply embedded patterns that run on autopilot
- The lack of time and space to actually think about what you need
Use tools that work at the subconscious level.
These eating patterns aren’t just surface thoughts you can logic away. They’re deeply embedded. They function below your conscious awareness.
That’s why I’ve started using tools like hypnosis and other subconscious techniques with my clients. (I know it sounds weird. I thought so too at first. But this stuff really works.)
You can’t always consciously think your way out of patterns when your prefrontal cortex is already maxed out just getting through your day.
If you’ve been trying to “figure out” your eating for years and feel like you’re hitting your head against a wall, it’s not because you’re stupid.
It’s because you’ve been watching the magician’s assistant instead of where the trick is actually happening.
Have a listen to the full podcast episode today to learn more.
Ready to understand what’s really driving your eating and finally feel in control around food? Come join us inside Thrive Academy for Physicians.
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