You’ve got a medical degree. You counsel patients on nutrition. You know what you should be eating.
So why does food still feel so out of control?
I spent years asking myself this same question. Sitting in the Wendy’s drive-through line again, wondering what the hell was wrong with me. I’m a doctor. I should know better. I should be able to just… not do this.
But I couldn’t stop. And I didn’t understand why.
It’s Not About the Food
Here’s what took me way too long to figure out: the problem isn’t the food. It’s the emotions underneath the eating.
And here’s the kicker—it doesn’t always feel like “stress eating” or “emotional eating.” Sometimes you’re just suddenly at the vending machine and you don’t even know how you got there.
That’s because we’ve been trained to not notice our emotions.
Think about it. Medical school and residency taught us to push feelings down. To keep working when we’re exhausted, scared, or overwhelmed. To distance ourselves from difficult emotions so we can do our jobs.
That skill helped us survive. But it also means our brains learned to skip the “feeling” part and go straight to the “fix it with food” part.
The Background Hum of Negative Emotions
As physicians, we deal with a lot on any given day:
- Time stress (running behind, too many patients, not enough hours)
- Self-doubt and imposter syndrome (did I get this right? Is this the appropriate treatment?)
- Frustration—at staff, patients, colleagues, family, the EMR
- Fatigue, tiredness, restlessness
- Boredom
And then there are the big emotions that might not happen every day but are so intense when they do: fear, conflict, making a mistake, feeling like you’re in trouble.
That background hum of negative emotion? It’s enough to drive eating all by itself. Add a big stressor on top, and you feel completely out of control.
Why You Don’t Notice It
The first step to changing this is actually noticing when you’re having an emotion. Which sounds simple but isn’t.
We’ve spent years training ourselves NOT to notice especially in the context of a busy day. So now we have to relearn this skill.
People notice emotions differently:
- Some feel the emotion directly (“I’m feeling really anxious right now”)
- Some notice thoughts first (“This isn’t fair, they shouldn’t have done that”)
- Some notice body sensations (tightness in chest, tension in shoulders)
For me, it’s body sensations. When I feel tightness in my chest, that’s my cue to check in and ask myself what’s going on.
Figuring out which way works for you is part of the process. It’s like learning a new language. You won’t be good at it right away. That’s okay.
Start With the Small Stuff
Here’s a mistake I see all the time: people want to process the BIG emotions right away. The anger at a family member that’s been there for years. The grief. The major conflict.
But those feel so intense that you can’t actually get yourself to go there. It doesn’t feel safe.
Start with the low-hanging fruit instead.
For me, one of the first emotions I worked on was frustration at getting my kids out the door on school mornings. I’d get so worked up about their dawdling that it ruined the rest of my day. I was primed for bad eating before I ever left the house.
Working on that one “small” emotion had huge ripple effects. My days got better. I felt better as a parent. And I wasn’t starting every day already looking for food to feel better.
What About When You’re Already Eating?
For a long time, eating was my signal that there was an emotion happening. I didn’t notice the stress or exhaustion until I was already at the drive-through.
If that’s you, use it. Use the eating as an opportunity to understand.
When you’re eating (or just finished), ask yourself:
- What was I feeling when I wanted to eat?
- When did that feeling start?
- What was going on earlier in my day?
You can’t be curious and angry at yourself at the same time. So drop the self-criticism and just get curious.
Trace it back. Maybe you realize you’ve been anxious since that conversation with a colleague about a case. Maybe you started feeling overwhelmed at 10am and just didn’t notice. Understanding where it started helps you catch it earlier next time.
The Truth About Emotions
Here’s something that changed things for me: emotions can’t actually hurt you.
They’re just physical sensations in your body. Tightness. Vibrations. Discomfort. That’s it.
What feels scary and risky is what we make the emotion mean. If you’re anxious, you might make it mean something is really wrong. Or that your anxiety is coming back. Or that it’s going to get worse.
Those extra layers are what create most of the discomfort around emotions. The emotion itself? It’s uncomfortable, yes. But it’s survivable.
And here’s the thing—not feeling your emotions is ALSO uncomfortable. That pulling-it-with-you-through-the-day feeling. The out-of-control eating. The waking up still feeling crappy.
Learning to process emotions means your days get better AND you feel more in control around food.
Simple Techniques That Work
When you notice an emotion, here’s what you can actually do:
Sit with it. Notice the physical sensation in your body. Rest your attention there. When your mind wanders, bring it back. The emotion usually eases.
Journal it out. Write what you’re feeling, what you noticed in your body, what might have triggered it. Getting it on paper helps your brain process it.
Try tapping (EFT). Emotional Freedom Technique can bring intense emotions down quickly. I use a fast version from Melissa Tiers that takes just a couple minutes but you can find lots of routines online. You can do it in the office bathroom and nobody will know.
Hand on heart and breathe. Box breathing, deep breaths, whatever calms you.
After you’ve brought the emotion down a bit, ask yourself: What do I need? A break? Water? To talk to someone? What is this emotion trying to tell me about my needs?
Then think about how you want to move forward.
This Changes Everything
Learning to handle emotions doesn’t just help your eating. It helps everything.
Your days get better. You enjoy work more. You handle challenges more easily.
And here’s something unexpected: when you know you can handle emotions, you can do things that might create big emotions. Ask for the raise. Go for the leadership position. Step outside your comfort zone.
Because you know what to do with whatever feelings come up.
Start Today
Next time you find yourself eating and you’re not sure why, try this:
Be kind to yourself. Get curious. Ask: what was I feeling when I wanted to eat? When did that start? What could I have done differently to catch it earlier?
No blame. No tough love. Just curiosity and compassion.
That’s always the path forward.
If you’re a physician who struggles with feeling out of control around food, listen to this week’s episode of the Thriving As A Physician podcast below or wherever you get your shows.
And if you want personalized support to figure out what’s really going on with YOUR eating, check out Thrive Academy for Physicians at start2thrive.ca
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