Why Everything You Think About Weight Loss Is Wrong
I just spent two weeks completely disconnected from work. Came home sick. And immediately fell into our classic physician trap – adding extra clinic time because I felt guilty for being gone.
Sound familiar?
As I was catching up and feeling behind on everything, I realized something. We think we need to be everything to everybody all the time. But sometimes, just keeping your head above water is enough. And that’s a lot for us.
This constant pressure screws with everything. Including how we eat and take care of ourselves.
After working with hundreds of women physicians and my own messy journey, I’ve discovered that everything we think about reaching our goals is wrong.
Willpower Is Complete Crap
We’ve been told that reaching our weight goals requires:
- More willpower
- Perfect discipline
- Harder work
- Constant focus
But here’s the thing. I’ve never met a physician lacking willpower. You got through medical school, residency, and everything else this career throws at you. You have willpower coming out your ears.
The problem isn’t that you need more willpower. The problem is that willpower doesn’t actually work for lasting change.
The Three Things That Actually Matter
If I had a magic wand, these are the three things I’d give you instead:
1. Belief
This is the biggest game-changer. And it’s not what you think.
You don’t need rainbows-and-unicorns certainty. You just need to stop telling yourself you’ll fail while trying to still force yourself to do hard things. Talk about creating a tug of war in your own brain.
Think about medical school. You had to believe maybe you could get in, (or you never would have suffered through organic chemistry 😀)
Same thing here. Find a belief that feels true: “I’m going to figure this out” or “I trust myself to keep trying.”
Real example: One of my Thrive Academy members felt completely stuck. We worked only on belief during our call. Five days later, two pounds gone. Without changing anything else. Sounds too simple, but belief changes how you approach every single choice.
2. Grace
You’re not going to be perfect. Ever. Full stop.
The faster you accept this, the faster you’ll reach your goals. Because you won’t get completely derailed every time you’re human.
Grace means when you eat stress cookies after that nightmare patient encounter, you don’t spiral into shame and give up for the week. You just think, “Okay, that happened. Moving on.”
Most of us are incredibly compassionate with patients but brutal with ourselves. What if you treated yourself with even half the compassion you show your patients?
What grace looks like in real physician life: You’re charting at 9pm, exhausted, and you eat whatever’s in the pantry. Grace means you don’t spend the next three days beating yourself up about it. You just think, “That happened. I was tired and needed a break. Moving on.”
Or you’re in back-to-back surgeries, miss lunch, and end up grabbing chips from the vending machine because you’re shaky. Grace means recognizing that your body needed energy, not launching into an internal lecture about willpower.
3. Acceptance
This is the hardest one for us because we’re trained to fix everything. But you can’t fix your genetics. You can’t fix your body type. And you can’t fix the fact that your body might need different food than your colleague’s body.
I had to accept that the standard North American diet doesn’t work for my body. Not because I’m broken. Because bodies are different. Period.
What acceptance looks like:
- Your body may gain weight easier than other bodies (but it also does amazing things)
- You might need to eat differently than others
- Weight loss might be slower than you want
- Your timeline isn’t your colleague’s timeline
You can accept these things and still choose to create change. Acceptance doesn’t mean giving up. It means working with reality instead of fighting it.
Why This Changes Everything
When you believe in yourself, give yourself grace, and accept your reality, something magical happens. The struggle disappears.
You stop fighting yourself at every meal. You stop the exhausting cycle of perfect Monday, complete rebellion by Wednesday.
I used to spend mental energy constantly – thinking about food, planning, restricting, then overeating. Now? I barely think about it because I trust myself.
Your Next Step
This week, ask yourself:
- Do I actually believe I can reach my goal? Am I telling myself that I can?
- Where could I give myself more grace?
- What do I need to accept to move forward?
These aren’t just nice ideas. They’re what makes everything else work.
Ready to Stop Fighting Food?
Look, if you’re exhausted from the willpower approach and feeling like you’re the only physician who can’t figure this out – you’re not alone. You’re not broken. You’re just using tools that don’t work.
Listen to the full episode below.
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