Every January, I sit down with physician coaches and ask them how they’re thinking about the year ahead. It’s become one of my favorite traditions—and I always walk away with something that shifts my own perspective.
This year’s second conversation was with Dr. Maneesha Ahluwalia (life coach and former infectious disease physician), Dr. Nora Vasquez (internist and high-performance coach), and Dr. Ladan Davallow (pediatric endocrinologist with her own practice). And we ended up talking about something I think every physician needs to hear.
When January Already Feels Like a Failure
We’re at the end of the month. And if you’re like most of us, things have already gone sideways at least once.
A couple weeks ago for me, it was my son’s appendicitis followed by the whole family getting sick. One of those weeks where everything falls apart.
And it’s so easy for our brains to tell us: all is lost. You’ve already failed. Might as well give up.
But here’s what Nora shared that I love. She described this meme with glasses of water. We think consistency means every glass filled 100% to the top, every single day.
But real consistency? Some days you give 100%. Some days you only have 50%. Some days your capacity is 10%. And that’s still showing up consistently.
The 1% improvements compound. Ladan reminded us that 1% better every day is 37 times better in a year. You don’t need perfection.
Why We Don’t Give Ourselves Credit
Here’s what really struck me in this conversation: why are we so bad at acknowledging our wins?
Maneesha shared something from her experience coaching Indian physicians. In her culture, celebrating your accomplishments is seen as boastful. You’re supposed to stay humble and quiet. Her dad would literally side-message her when she shared successes in the family chat—don’t make others feel bad.
But it’s not just cultural. Medical training does this too.
Remember that joke? You got a 95—where’s the other 5%?
We learned that nothing was ever quite good enough. And now, as attendings, there’s nobody left to tell us we’re doing okay. No more gold stars. No more external validation.
So we just… don’t acknowledge anything. We minimize. We say “anyone could have done that” or “I was just doing my job.”
But the truth is—YOU did it. You showed up. You made the call. You made it happen.
The Contribution Practice
Maneesha introduced something she calls a “contribution practice.” It’s like gratitude journaling, but focused on what YOU did.
Here’s how it works: If you’re present on a call at 11am, what was your contribution in getting yourself there? What did you plan ahead of time? What conversations did you have? What did you execute?
There’s so much that goes into maintaining the lives we’re living. And it’s not passive. You got out of bed. You fed yourself. You fed your dependents. You got them to school. You got yourself to work. You showed up.
None of that just happens. You made it happen.
When you start noticing your contributions, something shifts. Maneesha described it as light bulbs lighting up all over your brain. Internal validation. Dopamine. A whole new way of experiencing yourself.
The Gap vs. The Gain
Ladan brought up something that completely reframes how we measure progress.
Most of us live in the gap. We’re always measuring ourselves against some ideal—a moving horizon we’ll never actually reach. And we always come up short.
But what if you measured yourself against where you started instead?
That’s living in the gain. You’re looking at your actual progress. How far you’ve come. What you’ve already accomplished.
Same effort. Completely different experience.
What If This Was Your Only Goal?
Here’s what I asked the group: Can you imagine if the only goal you had for the year was to notice what goes well?
Just that. Notice and acknowledge your efforts. Your accomplishments. Your contributions.
Imagine what that year would feel like. Your brain lighting up with internal validation. Actually seeing your progress. Feeling confident not because you achieved more, but because you finally noticed what you were already doing.
Maneesha pointed out something important: this isn’t just about feeling good. It builds the confidence you need when you’re ready to branch out or try something new.
We don’t have to do more things to feel more confident. We might just need to take stock of what we’re already doing well.
What Can You Release?
Nora asked a question I’ve been thinking about since: What can you release in 2026 that no longer serves you?
Sometimes it’s not about adding more. It’s about undoing, unlearning, unsubscribing from the noise.
What would open up if you let something go?
Listen to this week’s episode of the Thriving As A Physician Podcast below (or on your favorite podcast player) for the full conversation. This is Part 2 of our annual Thriving in 2026 interview series—more coming throughout January.
Recent Comments